I’m shouting that shit from the rooftops bc millennials aren’t just winey pieces of shit spending all of our money on avocado toast
(just SOME of our money, dumbasses)
kind of like how every generation before has WASTED NEARLY EVERY TAX DOLLAR THEY’VE EVER COLLECTED! lolz. anyway, enjoy listening, memorizing, and singing at the top of your lungs at every gen xer and baby boomer with a shitty attitude toward the generation they raised and screwed.
Anyway, check out my latezt single, MILLENNIALS ARE DOPE AS SHIT.
I’m obsessed with a good alligator pear & I’m constantly looking for new ways dress them up a bit to keep my eating habits more ~exotic~ and ~diverse~ and overall ~healthier~ than before. So I’ve compiled a few of my favorite ways to consume an avocado–and they are sure to become your favorite as well!
ok without further ado, my 8 (+) ways to eat avocados:
the classic avocado toast
Ezekiel seseame toast, butter it & sprinkle some cheese ((microwave that shit so its ~meltayyy~))
Really any other kind of toast (NOT brioche bc fuck brioche)
using your Pampered Chef Avocado peeler (pictured below) ((it’s sharp enough to pierce the skin but dull enough to avoid a stigmata wound–and angled perfectly to pop out the pit with ease)) slice that shit up, plop it all onto the toast.
Season and enjoy!!
avocado on a plate
slice up an avocado and put it on a plate
use my favorite seasoning, ‘Slap ‘Ya Mama’ cajun seasoning generously
enjoy with your fave chip of tortilla, pita, or potato origin. (bonus points for flaming hot cheetos tho)
mix all of that shit together add a lil dash of some seasoning and literally whatever else, serve it up next to some toast or something and go for it!!!
i really like tabouli like a lot but I’m not the type to like actually make it (so much chopping omg), so I just grab it from Trader Joe’s and then add it as sort of like a lil garnish for a sliced avocado. delish, man.
again with the chopping so to save my time and sanity, I start with like a good pico de gallo and then mix in some avocado and a lil more lime!
for bonus points eat with tostito’s with a hint of lime and holi shit
also, for a super quick but high yielding situation, use a reed avocado–THEY ARE FUQQING HUGE. I found them at Whole Foods…it’s the only place i’ve seen them in my life thus far one is pictured in the video below:: –prepare yourselves people–
No surprise here, it’s literally a spinach salad made with guac and bacon.
Toss it all together so that the avocado kind of like coats the spinach and acts as a bit of a dressing (i fuqqing hate real dressings so this works the best for me)
Sometimes I get a lil fancy and throw like some candied pecans in or pieces of crispy cheese or some shit. V good.