A Gilmore Girls Conspiracy

hold on to your chapeaus people because we’ve got to discuss something VERY pressing to the community of Stars Hollow.

brace yourself, this will ultimately change many aspects of life in the small Connecticut town.

Sasha and Lily become Anna and April in order to swindle Luke into paying for shit.

IF you aren’t a big enough fan, let me help you out a bit. First of all wtf because Gilmore Girls is one of the most important dramedies of the 2000s. Second of all, Sasha & Lily are Jess’s dad’s girlfriend and girlfriend’s daughter in Venice, CA.

did i just come to this conclusion because they recycle Sherilyn Fern as Sasha and then a few seasons later as Anna Nardini?

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possibly.

HOWEVER– I’ve got some convincing evidence to back up this claim.

Shasha gets the idea from listening to Jess’s short but important sob story. She hears of Luke the hermit, a diner owner who lives alone and scarcely travels or spends money on anything extravagant. She’s looking at her life in Venice and thinking holi shit, this is not sustainable, Jimmy is a shithead and its a matter of time before he splits from my life as well. She craves the cash from someone dependable and safe, and Luke is basically the pinnacle of safety and dependability. She also wants to retain her freedom, which Luke’s love of Lorelei would allow.

so she moves, dyes her hair, and opens that weird lil shop. (A total Sasha move, if you ask me.)

and as for Lily, the bookworm with a penchant for strange places to devour literature, it only makes sense that she would grow up to be equally strange yet academically voracious.

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and who, pray tell, fits this description of a strange yet academically voracious teenager just two seasons later…..That’s right, April Nardini with her lame-o helmet and eyebrows so dark (and large) she’ll never need to draw them in (see below).

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now of course, i need to address the fact that Gilmore Girls is notorious for reusing actors. My favorite instance of this was the actress who played Trix, Lorelei’s grandmother, attending Trix’s funeral as cousin Marilyn (with sticky hands for the crystal bar glasses with gold leafing.)

the question is: why? what’s the point?

my theory–its never addressed because no one questioned any of it.

also theory within the theory? Anna and April became Sasha and Lily  so she could raise her in peace, maybe there was shit she was running from.

for a brief moment, let’s entertain the theory that there is no conspiracy, and Sasha and Lily are simply another strong mother-daughter duo on the west coast. Why is every daughter character a genius bookworm with lagging social skills?? (Rory was the lucky one but Lorelei has more than enough character for both of them)

the only dumb little girl ever featured in the show was Dean’s little sister. She wasn’t dumb I guess, but she was never portrayed as anything other than your average American child.

so in conclusion, i am right. Amy Sherman-Palladino really thought we wouldn’t find this out, huh?

anyway–I just needed to share. Let me know your thoughts if you have any, ok?

 

 

-chasertheprince

PLASTIC!

Plastic is………..unfortunately, one of the most effective inventions….ever.

it keeps its shape, its durable af and it lasts {litter}ally thousands of years (see what i did there).

Here are some unfortunate facts about one of the greatest inventions ever: courtesy of OceanConservancy.org

  1. Use of plastics has surpassed all other man-made materials except steel and cement.
  2. Global production of plastic increased from 2 million tons in 1950 to 380 million tons by 2015, a growth rate 2.5 greater than that of the global economy. Half of that amount was produced in just the last 13 years–IN THE LAST 13 YEARS YOU GUYS.
  3. If this global trend in production continues, humans will have produced 34 billion tons of plastic by 2050, four times more than we have made to date. Close to half—46% of that (a whopping 12 billion tons)—is expected to be discarded in landfills or the natural environment.
  4. As a material, plastic is long lasting as shit, durable as shit, and doesn’t degrade worth shit. This is one of the reasons it’s so useful when it comes to human health and food safety–especially in the developing world. But this also means that plastics accumulate in the natural environment and landfills, leading to what some guy named Geyer and his coauthors call a growing concern of a “near-permanent contamination of the natural environment.
  5. Six different types of plastic (polyethylene (PE), polypropylene (PP), polystyrene (PS), polyvinylchloride (PVC), polyethylene terephthalates (PET), and polyurethane (PUR) account for 92% of all the plastics ever made and 42% of that has been used for packaging, generally with a lifespan of less than 1 year before being discarded.
  6. There are only 4 ways to handle plastic at the end of its life: recycled, destroyed or converted to fuel or energy through incineration or pyrolysis, disposed of in managed waste systems OR discarded where it ends up in the natural environment. :/
  7. The highest recycling rates are in Europe (30%) and China (25%) whereas the United States has had a relatively dismal rate of 9% since 2012. ***cue Miley’s banger, “WAKE UP AMERICA” ********
  8. A whopping 79% of all the plastics ever produced have now been discarded. Only 21% of plastics are still in active use.

You guys, if those numbers don’t mean anything to you,

 

So let’s start today because we can’t rewind the clock and work a lil harder to save this fuqqin planet.

Here’s how:

  1. Stream my new single “Plastic” as soon as it drops @ 12:01 am EARTH DAY
  2. recycle
  3. CUT DOWN ON THE SINGLE USE PLASTIC! Bring reusable shopping bags to the store, buy fruit whole and cut it up yourself (no need for those plastic containers), bring your own cup to Starbucks, and PICK UP and properly discard random pieces of trash when you’re out and about!
  4. Keep streaming my new single, “Plastic” out everywhere April 22. Hell, buy the damn thing on iTunes.

 

-chasertheprince

 

 

Millennials Are Dope As Shit & Here are the RECEIPTS

I make some big claims in my new single, “Millennials Are Dope As Shit” ((OUT NOW!!))

about the ‘snowflake’ generation and, in case you try to come for me by attempting to discredit my clever, fact-driven lyrics, here are the receipts.

So read ’em and weep, baby boomers bc this is REAL NEWS, OKUURRR

CLAIM:

Millennials are the largest age group in American History

RECEIPT(S):

The Washington Post–It’s Official, Millennials Have Surpassed Baby Boomers to Become America’s Largest Living Generation

Pew Research Center–Millennials Overtake Baby Boomers

Goldman Sachs–Millennials

CLAIM:

Millennials are the most ethnically diverse generation in American History

RECEIPT(S):

The Brookings Institution–Metro Millennial Report 

NBCNews–Millennials Most Racially Diverse Generation in US History

REALTOR Magazine–Millennials-Most Diverse Generation in History

CLAIM:

Most entrepreneurial generation in history

RECEIPT(S):

FORBES–Millennials are the True Entrepreneur Generation

Business Insider (2016)–Millennials On Track to Become Most Entrepreneurial Generation Ever

Comcast Business–Millennials are the Most Entrepreneurial Generation But They Need More Access to Capital

CLAIM:

MILLENNIALS are spearheading innovation like never before

RECEIPT(S):

FORBES–How Millennials Are Changing These 3 Industries

ASU STUDY–Millennials: Entrepreneurship and Innovation, the Perfect Combo

CLAIM:

All living dogs and cats are millennials

RECEIPT(S):

The 6 Oldest Dogs Ever (ALL Millennials!)

Reddit–IF YOU’RE OVER 30, YOU WERE ALIVE BEFORE EVRERY DOG IN THE WORLD

CLAIM:

Generations before us wrecked the economy

RECEIPT(S):

The Economist–The Origins of the Financial Crisis: A Crash Course

The Wall Street Journal–The 2008 Financial Crisis: How It All Began

The New York Times–Financial Crisis Was Avoidable, Inquiry Finds

CLAIM:

The preceding generations have made (AND ACTIVELY CONTINUE TO MAKEplenty of enemies out of former ally nations

RECEIPT(S):

Fox News–Trump Pushes Allies Away; Embraces US Adversaries

ABC News (AUS)–200 Years of US Military Interventions

The Atlantic–Where Countries Stand With Donald Trump: A Crib Sheet

CLAIM:

Millennials are the most educated generation in American History. 

RECEIPT(S):

NPR–Amid The Stereotypes, Some Facts About Millennials

The Obama White House Archives.Gov–Millennials Report

Rich Dad–Why Our Most Educated Generation is Struggling Financially

So you know, I don’t speak on shit unless I know it’s the truth.

Anyway, here’s to all the millennials out here making it happen and navigating through this crazy world we’ve inherited. We truly are DOPE AS SHIT.

–CHASERTHEPRINCE

In Honor of the 2018 Emmy’s Noms, Here Are The shows You NEED to Binge ASAP

Since the 70th annual Primetime Emmy nominations were recently announced, I thought it would be appropriate and necessary to tell the world of my favorite tv shows.

(You can see the full list of Emmy Noms here)

Plus, one day as I was staring at the screen, my numb arm outstretched with my hand gently closed around the Apple TV remote, I thought about how great it would be if someone with a similar sense of humor and passion for drama just told me what to watch and put a silver bullet through the brain of this never-ending, blood-displacing search.

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So, I decided to put together a running list of my favorite streamable, binge-able shows on the internet in hopes that you could avoid that same fate and have a show readily in mind when you pick up the remote to retire from reality to binge.

~what you’ll need~

  • access to one or all of the following: Netflix, Hulu, HBOGo/Now, ShowtimeAnytime, Amazon Prime, FXX,
  • a comfy ass place to recline–a posh lazy boy or a quintessential queen, perhaps?
  • your favorite beverage and light snack
  • if you live in one of the more advanced states in the Union, some weed and your favorite piece for consumption.

Thus, my favorite binge-able shows:

veepVEEP–HBO: The funniest fucking show ever conceived, written, shot, aired, etc. I always recommend it to everyone. Selena Meyer is the person I aspire to be. Julia Louis-Dryfus is a comic genius. I look up to her a great deal–I mean her skill is ridic. and has won multiple deserved Emmys for the role which sadly concludes this summer.

thecrownTHE CROWN–Netflix: Let’s talk about how much better season 2 is than season 1–so much better. I’m 100% heartbroken that Claire Foy and Matt Smith won’t be continuing on for the rest of the series because i think they truly nail their characters, but I’m excitedly awaiting szn 3 regardless.

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THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD–Netflix: On my last day in Park City this past January, I had a late flight out of Salt Lake, and my work at Sundance had concluded with the festival two days before, so I was just chilling all day and needed something to watch. I was instantly hooked. The episodes are short, so it was super easy to binge in one day. The shots are all really great and apparently it’s based off of a comic, so that’s kind of different.  

ja'mieJA’MIE–HBO:Chris Lilley is iconic as Ja’mie: Private School Girl. She is horrible yet the most ideal. Constant laughs, I’m srs. One of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. Worth a binge, a rebinge, and even a re-rebinge.

684_1024x411HIGH MAINTENANCE– HBO: easily one of the best shows that I didn’t really expect much from when I first sat down to watch it. Every episode is strangely poignant and they capture the essence of smoking weed in a way that i’ve never seen before. Truly a work of art.

santa-clarita-dietTHE SANTA CLARITA DIET–Netflix: The first episode had me slightly skeptical, but once I got used to Drew Barrymore’s method of acting and the sometimes less-than-stellar writing and suddenly i was entranced by this show. Very entertaining and a super easy binge. Plus I have serious Drew Barrymore hair goals now. AND it just gets better with age, people! Season 2 is amazing, I’ve watched it three times now.

Bigmouth-analisis-e1510531071181BIG MOUTH–Netflix: Holy shit. I’m not going to say much about this one because I want you to be able to experience it in all of its glory, so go ahead and binge it NOW. It’s a hormone charged roller coaster ride and it is very….horny.

grace and frankieGRACE & FRANKIE–Netflix: One of the absolute best shows of the decade, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomilson form a hilarious duo to navigate post-divorced life. If you haven’t seen it, idk what you’re doing with your life.

shameless.jpgSHAMELESS–Showtime / Netflix: It took me a second to get passed the disgusting manner in which they live and then I was hooked. Each character is so well constructed, developed, and portrayed. Plus, I saw Deb at the Melrose Trading Post one time…she taught me that glycerin makes you cry.

nurse jackieNURSE JACKIE–Showtime / Netflix: Absolutely one of my most favorite shows of all time. It’s the perfect amount of heart warming and soul  crushing, and that’s not an easy feat. Edie Falco is incredible as Nurse Jackie, a high functioning drug addict and the best nurse around. At least, the one I’d want by my hospital bed (after she’s snorted a couple lines, of course). The show is set up around one particular St. Augustine quote I may or may not be living: “Make me good, God; but not yet.” Seriously, if you’ve never watched it–go, right now. It’s a ride but omg it’s worth it.

cuckoo-netflix-originalCUCKOO-Netflix: Hilarious. Andy Samberg tees up the witty British comedy and Taylor Lautner…shit i’m not up on my golf references–what do you say after tees up? not ‘knock it out of the park’ bc that’s baseball, right? Fuqq it. Anyway–every character is really funny and it’s a fun show to binge for a light-hearted night.

633_1024x411WHITE FAMOUS–Showtime: I just finished binging this like last week actually, and i really enjoyed it. Funny as fuqq, it’s a satire about being black in Hollywood and really all I can say is–white people are annoying and i’m sorry haha

maxresdefaultAMERICAN VANDALNetflix: I absolutely love the way this show is shot to be such a serious crime show but really it’s about a bunch of dicks spray painted on cars in the parking lot of a high school. The great part about it is that it stays pretty light-hearted the entire time, just a fun entertaining show. We need more of these.

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THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL–Amazon: So the creators of ‘Gilmore Girls’ are back with this quick-witted and explicit (a dream come true; the faster-than-lightening high brow, quick-witted dialogue unconfined by the rules of cable) dramedy about a female comic busting through the rigid seams of the life of Upper West Side housewives.

81jv5kL-e7L._RI_EKATERINA: THE RISE OF CATHERINE THE GREAT–Amazon: If you’re brave enough, this Russian drama follows the rise of the badass empress–and does so in three languages, so get ready for some serious subtitle reading and….really it’s an opportunity to sharpen your prowess for context clues.

downloadGLOW-Netflix: I dug the vintage neon girl power vibe of this Netflix original. Season 2 promises to be just as fun (I’ve only watched the first episode, but I’m down!) The eighties aesthetics are almost as entertaining as the dialogue or anything else really (if not more).

joel-mchale-show-slice-600x200  THE JOEL McHALE SHOW WITH JOEL McHALE —Netflix:  People, The Soup is back and this time without bleeping!! I’ve always enjoyed McHale’s humor, even if it’s kind of…only slightly amusing? The show has a very similar feel to his old E! gig, so it kind of feels like I’m back in my parents house catching reruns on my like 18-inch TV before going to sleep. (plus, I know one of the Associate Producers through my dope a$$ roommates so that’s always exciting–s/o Allison Miller!)

71dfx1n3lwl-_ri_-e1520539168114.jpgEMPIRE OF THE TSARS: ROMANOV RUSSA WITH LUCY WOLSEY–Netflix: the lady reminded me of Kitty from That 70’s Show but with an annoying British accent and incredibly ridiculous interjections in the dialogue. Her guidance through the dark and twisty yet posh and glorious Romanov dynasty is rather enjoyable.

sumheighhighSUMMER HEIGHTS HIGHHBO: Ja’mie’s precursor, the hilarious as fuqq Summer Heights High. The ever talented Chris Lilley plays three over the top but somehow spot on characters and will literally have you lolling every 30 seconds.

episodesEPISODES–Netlfix: Love it, it’s a funny example of a writer’s vision being twisted and turned for American audiences. And like holy shit does it seem like Matt LeBlanc is literally all over Netflix rn?

queer-as-folk-facebook-coverQUEER AS FOLK-Netflix / Showtime: Brian Kinney is the role model of all role models. Gay friends fuqq up Pittsburg night life and survive the trials of being openly gay in the early 2000’s. It’s a good series to get in to, kind of slow at times but an overall solid watch.

5198ce1e7866cf7c69222c748d951967093570e9.jpgCRASHING–Netflix: Six twenty-somethings act as property guardians to this old hospital. Property guarding sounds kind dope as shit, to be honest…you just pay like way less than normal rent and you just have to keep an abandoned building in shape. All kinds of shenanigans are gotten into so it’s an easily enjoyable, quickly bingable show, good for a day at home or some shit.

enlightenedENLIGHTENED–HBO: I stumbled upon this show years ago and it’s been one of my favorite binges so far. It’s a complicated series, but Laura Dern depicts self destruction-ist Amy Jellicoe in a post-self destruction world, and she does it so well. The journey of rebuilding her life kind of seems like she’s walking the wrong way on a moving sidewalk, but that’s why she’s so easy to identify with. Plus, she doesn’t let the bullshit get her down and works to take down the corporate giant she helped expand. I’ll be honest…season 2 didn’t captivate me like season 1…but I’ll let you be the judge as to why.

biglittleliesBIG LITTLE LIES–HBO: seriously, you’ve been living under a rock if you haven’t at least watched a clip of this iconic mini-series. I’m anxiously awaiting season two and I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THE FACT THAT MERYL IS JOINING THE CAST. Also, a slight side note, but when I first started the show, i lowkey thought that Shailene Woodley’s character was actually just a grown up Amy or whatever her name was in ‘Secret Life of the American Teenager’ and she had just gone through some shit so they had to move and change their names. SPOILER–that’s definitely not the case.

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SIX FEET UNDER--HBO:One of my most recent watches, this series is rather heartbreaking. It takes place in early 2000s Los Angeles and centers around a family of funeral directors. Each episode begins with a new client’s death. Most of the time these expirations are so ridiculously arbitrary it makes you kind of feel lucky you’ve survived this long. Anyway, the writing is brilliant. The characters are amazing because they are all so fucking lost and don’t realize it an aspect of their world implodes–how very true to life. Also, the last 10 minutes of the series finale ended it all so well but had me in a fit of tears and a somber attitude for like 3 hours, so be warned.

lookingLOOKING–HBO: Sort of like HBO’s version Queer As Folk but west coast, and fast forward a few years. An interesting and comedically dramatic look at life for the not-so-young but not-really-old-at-all gays. There’s a movie and a short series and both are streamable now.

Archer_605_HD_Clean_R1_AUTH_movie_1464340174711_4528000_1280x720_694347331843ARCHER–FXNow/Netflixabsolutely one of the best animated shows out there…actually probably THE best animated show out there. It’s absolutely hilarious. Archer is the type of all talent, no responsibility awesome asshole i aspire to be a little bit, you know? The characters are all very well-developed actually and have incredibly interesting and ridiculously strange backstories that make each just as funny and important as the other.

cq5dam.web.1200.675SILICON VALLEY–HBO: I was late to the party for the Valley, but I showed up with gusto and finished the available episodes rather quickly. It’s a fun show in general but it’s a super interesting look into the world of the techno-giants. No matter how dramatized it is, you know those companies and figures are based loosely off of real world oligarchs of tech.

90sTHE NINETIES–CNNGo: First of all, i like all of their decade series, but this is by far my most favorite. It’s so interesting to see what was going on in the world when I was young and had like no real concept of anything.

romeROME–HBO: This exciting and dramatic look into the lives of Rome’s most scandalous patricians will leave you chanting “Atia of the Julii, I call for justice!” over and over again…but not because you really have anything against Atia, but because Brutus’s mother (who’s insufferable, by the way) repeats it loudly for days.

Schitts-CreekSCHITT’S CREEK–Netflix: A rich family loses everything but the town they bought as a joke and are forced to live there until they can figure out their next move. I’m down with it although I will say that i wasn’t extremely convinced by the characters until like midway through the first season. But i definitely enjoyed it overall so that’s cool.

23170CASUAL–Hulu: I enjoyed this show because it was a total ‘have everything and you’re still not happy’ kind of story but it was like…somehow more honest and somehow not trite… like it’s a refreshing spin on the age-old archetype and i’m always down for that kind of shit. Plus it has like an actually good

the comebackTHE COMEBACK–HBO: To be honest, you kind of have to hold on and power through with this one until you’re hooked. It’ll happen but it may take a minute. For me, the hardest part is seeing Lisa Kudrow as anyone but Phoebe, but when you lose that, draw some parallels between the characters and accept she’s a different version of herself now, the show becomes pretty entertaining. So, if you’re up for a challenge–The Comeback is your binge situation.

lovesick.jpgLOVESICK–Netflix: Everyone’s most awkward nightmare comes true when you contract an STD and call everyone you’ve slept with in the last little while to tell them about your…condition. this British comedy follows three friends as they alert nearly every girl in Dylan’s black book of his syphilis. An entertaining watch, for sure.

comcarcofCOMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE–Netflix: One of the sexiest sounds in the world is the sound of coffee being poured. And this show has plenty of coffee pouring b-roll. It’s super interesting to watch these comedians interact and discuss life, their career, and the cars (which break down more often than not)

we can be heroesWE CAN BE HEROES–HBO: You seriously can’t go wrong when Chris Lilley is involved okay. In this brilliant short series, he brings back Ja’mie and introduces us to 5 additional, equally hilarious characters vying for the coveted title, Australian of the Year.

35IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA–Hulu: Hilarious and like just low brow enough for me to enjoy without absolutely hating every minute of it. I’m still in the beginning of the series but every episode delivers. They’ve perfected the art of characters screaming over each other and no matter who you listen to, its funny as fuqq. It’s also super satirical of everything and they just go in hard about everything. So basically if your sense of humor is handicapped by political correctness, this one (and honestly many others on this list) are not for you.

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SHARP OBJECTS–HBO: Currently airing, this show is actually pretty badass. I am not one for crime shows, but this follows Amy Adams as a troubled vodka-chugging, cigarette smoking journalist back to her rural Missouri hometown as she investigates what’s probably turning out to be a serial situation. I’m digging it so far and I’ve only tuned in for one episode so that’s a good sign, ppl.

ill_behaviourILL BEHAVIOR–Showtime: So the guy standing gets a divorce from his wealthy wife and is left with a sizeable sum of money. The guy in the chair gets cancer and refuses treatment. Standing guy isn’t about to let that happen, so he finds Lizzy Caplan is the kind of chemo doctor i’d want pumping poison into my veins.

viceVICE PRINCIPALS–HBO: I loved it but all of a sudden it takes a rather unexpected turn and becomes something very different. It’s worth the binge, though.

youngTHE YOUNG POPE-HBO: I’m just here for the aesthetics and the sacrilege. The show is kind of so-so, but the concept is iconic and daring. It’s kind of like what I think would happen if I was elected pope, but way less pizzazz.

zZ: THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING–Amazon: F. Scott Fitzgerald is sort of like my literary spirit animal, so it’s cool to see this side of him and learn more about his beloved, the first American ‘flapper’, Zelda. She’s a v interesting character in her own right. tbh, i found the show a lil slow at times but it’s soooo much better than Amazon’s stab at “The Last Tycoon”, so, you know…

kennAMERICAN DYNASTIES: THE KENNEDYS–CNN: As an American catholic, the Kennedys are basically our secular royalty, and their dark side is delicious. Narrated by journalists and some of the Kennedys themselves, it’s an extremely interesting watch. CNN’s miniseries are notoriously well done, and this doesn’t disappoint in the slightest.

patty hearstTHE RADICAL STORY OF PATTY HEARST–CNN: A totally captivating story–pun fully intended. Patty is a v v interesting character and everything about this is just so bizarre. A very intriguing watch.

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TRUST: THE GETTY FAMILY SAGA–FXNOW:Continuing with the theme of kidnapping a plutocrat’s grandchild, ‘Trust’ follows the notorious Getty family as John Paul Getty III is kidnapped in Italy. But was he really kidnapped? did it start as a joke and end as a life altering, oh shit what have i done situation? is it kind of like the ‘Fargo’ of real life? Tune in, bitches.

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CLAWS–TNT: I just started watching this show, which is exciting because season 2 is currently airing on TNT. You can really only catch some of the episodes on the app, but i recommend taking a gander at this girl-power packed money laundering meets acrylic nail wonderland.

 

The ones that go without saying:

weedsWEEDS–Netflix / Showtime

the-office-usTHE OFFICE–Netflix

parksPARKS AND RECREATION–Netflix

thegilmoregirls.0.0GILMORE GIRLS–Netflix

friends FRIENDS–Netflix

Arrested-DevelopmentARRESTED DEVELOPMENT–Netflix

That-70s-show-800x400THAT 70S SHOW–Netflix

I know this list helped solve your streaming anxiety so…you’re welcome.

And of course, don’t forget to tune in to the 70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, Monday, September 17!

Also, **disclaimer** i own ~none~ of these images, and i’m secure enough to admit that.

-chasertheprince

The Bezt 2018 Grammy Performances

I know this is a little belated, but i mean the official videos of most of these Grammy performances didn’t become available until last week, and I know most of you probably didn’t go searching for them on your own in the meantime, so here we are.

It’s a nice surprise and you know you think so.

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This year’s show was packed with performances and most all of them delivered. Plus, Chappelle killed as the host.

So anyway, without further ado, here are my faves from that chilly January night:

Rihanna gives me the wildest of wild thoughts so, I mean. Do I really need to say anything else? DJ Khaled isn’t my favorite but i deal, you know.

P!nk always delivers. Her vocals are killer and she just was like fuqq it, I’m wearing jeans, a tshirt, and no shoes and I’ll still sound better than these hoes. and she did.

Speaking of vocals, this kid absolutely slays every person in the audience with his voice. Childish was of course, great as always.

Skip U2’s appearance and this is, as Kendrick’s performances always are, gold. to do this, jump from 2:03-2:31 and enjoy!

Two of my favorite people in music together on the Grammy stage!! I mean come on, what more could you ask for as a citizen of this earth? (a lot more, i get it but like, this is probably on your list)

The ’90s are my shit and this performance (and the song) evokes all the edgy ‘Saved By The Bell’ vibes you could possibly want. Cardi B is a great performer and paired with Bruno Mars and The Hooligans, it’s some next level fun time shit.

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t my most favorite Kesha performance of all time, but singing the song you wrote about your abuser to a room full of people who know him and have worked with him and didn’t believe you would be a lot. Plus I was like okay ladies, you’re all on this stage for a reason!! join her, help her out, like something, you know. But overall,  a very powerful performance and hopefully some souls are changing.

I have no words bc this performance literally says them all, so.. Logic for president 2024, ppl.

Overall it was a pretty solid show I thought. I wish some of the awards would’ve been placed in different hands but here we are. People have their opinions about the Grammys and the Recording Academy, and as they should. But that doesn’t mean we can’t sit back and enjoy some of our favorite artists performing some of our favorite songs amirite?

I’m right.

-chasertheprince

 

****Note: I do not own any of the videos or photos above, and I’m totally ok with that****

GRAMMY NOMS ARE IN AND IDK HOW I FEEL

The 60th Annual Grammy Awards are upon us, and earlier than usual it seems. The show will air January 28th on CBS from Madison Square Garden, NYC. Yes, you read that correctly. NYC.Madison-Square-Garden

This upsets me because I moved to Los Angeles with the idea in my head that at the very least I’d be standing a safe distance away from the building at the 2018 Grammy Awards. this would be easily accomplished by car.

Now, I have to get on a fucking airplane for the chance. And like idk, maybe I won’t. I don’t like the cold and it will be January in New York so, idk.

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Okay so moving past the location fiasco, this past year was insane for music. Incredible projects popped up left and right from newcomers like Khalid and old favorites like Jay Z (while truthfully I didn’t give 4:44 more than a few listens–I’ve been pissed at him for cheating since “Irreplaceable” told the woke people what the fuqq was up in ’06)

But okay, okay, let’s look at some of the most exciting categories (with my favorites in purple) before I continue with my commentary:

SONG OF THE YEAR:  (Ehh)

1-800-273-8255 

Logic, Alessia Cara, Khalid

Issues

Julia Michaels

That’s What I Like 

Bruno Mars

Despacito (Remix)

Justin Bieber, Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee

4:44

Jay Z

ALBUM OF THE YEAR (Okay Lorde standing her own with all these grown ass men)

“Awaken, My Love!”

Donald Glover

“4:44”

Jay Z

“24K Magic”

Bruno Mars

“Melodrama”

Lorde

“Damn.”

Kendrick Lamar

BEST RAP ALBUM (Is there even a contest)

Flower Boy

Tyler, The Creator

Culture

Migos

Laila’s Wisdom

Rapsody

4:44

Jay Z

Damn.

Kendrick Lamar

RECORD OF THE YEAR (daylighttt)

“HUMBLE.” 

Kendrick Lamar

“Redbone”

Donald Glover

“24K Magic”

Bruno Mars

“The Story Of O.J.” 

Jay Z

“Despacito (Remix)”

Justin Bieber, Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee

BEST NEW ARTIST (i have no reaction to this and idk what that means)

Alessia Cara

Lil Uzi Vert

Julia Michaels

Khalid

SZA

BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM (FUQQ YEA LANA/KESHA {I’m so over Ed Sheeran omfg})

Joanne

Lady Gaga

Evolve

Imagine Dragons

Kaleidoscope

Coldplay

÷

Ed Sheeran

Lust for Life

Lana Del Rey

Rainbow 

Kesha

BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE (FUQQ EVERYONE BUT KESHA)

“Shape of You”

Ed Sheeran

“Love So Soft”

Kelly Clarkson

“Million Reasons”

Lady Gaga

“What About Us”

P!nk

“Praying” 

Kesha

I’m cutting it off there because there are like 84 Grammy categories and I do not have that kind of time.

If you have that kind of time, click here for the full list of 2018 Grammy nominees.

I’m elated at the attention Kesha, Kendrick Lamar, Lana Del Rey, & SZA received from the academy but I do wish we would’ve seen a nom for Harry Styles’s ballad-heavy, self titled solo debut album–it seems though that the academy’s disdain for One Direction didn’t die with the band.

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Zayn, however, was nominated for his work with the snake for 50 Shades Darker, “I Don’t Wanna (Live Forever)”.  If he wins, he’ll be the only former One Direction member to ever win, but for now he’s just the only former One Direction member to ever be nominated.

Going back to my elation about Kesha’s recognition: HFS I’ve never been so happy about a Grammy nominee, I think. After the fuqqed up situation she lived for so long, she deserves every ounce of goodness that comes her way. Plus her album was really, really fuqqing good. I lived each song in some way, you know? Still do. That shit doesn’t happen with every album I listen to. Plus her concert was dope.

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PLUS: “Old Flames” (track 12 on Rainbow) is a cover of the song that Kesha’s mom wrote for Dolly Parton to sing on her 1980 smash Dolly, Dolly, Dolly. So obviously that’s fuqqing dope.

ANYWAY, THOUGHTS OVER THE OTHER NOMS:

1-800-273-8255 deserves the honor of Song of the Year. Logic, Alessia Cara, and Khalid shed so much-needed light on mental health. Their powerful performance at the 2017 VMAs reminded us that their song wasn’t just a catchy chart topper–it’s real. If you or anyone you know is contemplating suicide, reach out to the suicide hotline immediately.

Cardi B has continued destroying records, and is now the first solo female rap artist to be nominated for Best Rap Performance.

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She will also ‘B’ up against her fiancé, Offset, in said category–(the birth of a new music dynasty?).

With his many Emmy and Grammy wins, Donald Glover is well on his way to EGOT status, and that is impressive as fuqq–and goals as fuqq.

Understandably, “Despacito” was honored despite being one of the most over-played songs ever but it was, after all, like one of the biggest songs in the world. It is the first non-english song to be nominated for both Song and Record of the Year.

I ~almost~ have the entire chorus memorized.

Though she’s never won, this is the first time Katy Perry was not recognized for an eligible body of work. And I mean, Witness was alright, you know…but bitch also stole my googly eye look so idk.

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Apparently there’s major drama in the music theatre world when it comes to Grammy nominations but that’s going to take a lot to get into so just take my word for it.

Season seven of Game of Thrones received a nod from the academy, as Ramin Djawadi’s score was nominated for Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media (against La La Land –which I wasn’t that impressed with?–Arrival, Hidden Figures, and Dunkirk–at least something Harry Styles was apart of was nominated).

Also, excuse me while I lol so hard bc “Look What You Made Me Do” was eligible…and the other two atrocity singles the snake put out this year but all of them were passed up.

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“LWYMMD” was even eligible for best music video but nah, they saw right through that shit.

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People are saying Ed Sheeran was snubbed but like Divide was annoying, so, no. He wasn’t.

2018’s list of nominees does hit on an important trend. The academy appears to have taken streaming success into consideration, as most of the categories are dominated by online chart toppers. And they did a modestly better job of beefing up diversity throughout all categories except Record of the Year (all men).

So anyway, despite my deeply felt annoyance around this year’s location change and lack of je ne sais quoi, I’ll definitely be tuning in. I have no idea who’z slated to perform but that will make the show a lil more exciting, I think.

As always, check out my Twitter page that day for the most annoying barrage of hilarious real-time Grammy commentary.

-chasertheprince

 

****note: i do not own any of the above images, and I’m okay with that.****