Listen now! Baby boomers and gen Xers watch out okay, bc
IT’S OUR TIME.
Listen now! Baby boomers and gen Xers watch out okay, bc
about the ‘snowflake’ generation and, in case you try to come for me by attempting to discredit my clever, fact-driven lyrics, here are the receipts.
So read ’em and weep, baby boomers bc this is REAL NEWS, OKUURRR
Millennials are the largest age group in American History
Millennials are the most ethnically diverse generation in American History
Most entrepreneurial generation in history
MILLENNIALS are spearheading innovation like never before
All living dogs and cats are millennials
The 6 Oldest Dogs Ever (ALL Millennials!)
Generations before us wrecked the economy
The preceding generations have made (AND ACTIVELY CONTINUE TO MAKE) plenty of enemies out of former ally nations
Millennials are the most educated generation in American History.
So you know, I don’t speak on shit unless I know it’s the truth.
Anyway, here’s to all the millennials out here making it happen and navigating through this crazy world we’ve inherited. We truly are DOPE AS SHIT.
Don’t make me say it again but you know i will.
I’m shouting that shit from the rooftops bc millennials aren’t just winey pieces of shit spending all of our money on avocado toast
(just SOME of our money, dumbasses)
kind of like how every generation before has WASTED NEARLY EVERY TAX DOLLAR THEY’VE EVER COLLECTED! lolz. anyway, enjoy listening, memorizing, and singing at the top of your lungs at every gen xer and baby boomer with a shitty attitude toward the generation they raised and screwed.
Anyway, check out my latezt single, MILLENNIALS ARE DOPE AS SHIT.
stream it everywhere!
So, when I was in school at ACM, we had a songwriting assignment to write a song with the word “seahorse” in it.
my head immediately went to that part of Miley’s “Pablow the Blowfish” when she sings
“I heard of a seahorse named Sadie
I heard she was quite the Lady
Maybe you’ll find her and you can make babies
That’d be, kinda crazy”
And i knew i needed to tell the backstory of Sadie and those she left behind. My songwriting partner, Santiago Ramones, was kind enough to help me flush out the idea and later the incomparable Ciara Brooke helped me turn it into a song for the masses!
Check it out!!
****i DO own the above content, so fuqq yeah!****
It’s honesty hour for a second::
On any given day I jam out to at least 3 ABBA tunes, sometimes on repeat.
So of course it’s a no brainer that I’m ecstatic for the sequel to one of the greatest stories ever told, “Mamma Mia”.
(still haven’t seen it tho, lol…i really am not a fan of movie theatres?)
In honor of this, the classic Ciara and I decided to cover one of the Swedish world changer’s most famous hits, “Money, Money, Money”!!
It pretty much sums up the vibe of 2018. So, without further ado, i present: “Money, Money, Monéy.” ENJOY, OK
***i don’t own the above song ok***
So, in honor of THE SEAHORSE SONG (dropping July 31), I thought it would be interesting to take a closer look @ the subject of the diddy, the seahorse.
They are actually some of the most interesting creatures on earth to me and I know you’re dying to know some seahorse trivia so without further ado, I give you 11 wild factz about these serene underwater equines!!
***Seahorse facts were compiled using the following totally rad websites:: http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/seahorse_facts/133/ https://onekindplanet.org/animal/seahorse/
*******I do not own any of the images or videos above!!*********
It’s a little diddy about decadence and desire, a nod to vices and being too blasé to change, so i immediately loved it when i heard it in like 8th grade and have listened to it when it came up on shuffle ever since.
I thought it would be a fun one to cover so I headed up to Ciara’s home studio and we came up with this!
You can indulge on all platforms now!!
Since the 70th annual Primetime Emmy nominations were recently announced, I thought it would be appropriate and necessary to tell the world of my favorite tv shows.
(You can see the full list of Emmy Noms here)
Plus, one day as I was staring at the screen, my numb arm outstretched with my hand gently closed around the Apple TV remote, I thought about how great it would be if someone with a similar sense of humor and passion for drama just told me what to watch and put a silver bullet through the brain of this never-ending, blood-displacing search.
So, I decided to put together a running list of my favorite streamable, binge-able shows on the internet in hopes that you could avoid that same fate and have a show readily in mind when you pick up the remote to retire from reality to binge.
VEEP–HBO: The funniest fucking show ever conceived, written, shot, aired, etc. I always recommend it to everyone. Selena Meyer is the person I aspire to be. Julia Louis-Dryfus is a comic genius. I look up to her a great deal–I mean her skill is ridic. and has won multiple deserved Emmys for the role which sadly concludes this summer.
THE CROWN–Netflix: Let’s talk about how much better season 2 is than season 1–so much better. I’m 100% heartbroken that Claire Foy and Matt Smith won’t be continuing on for the rest of the series because i think they truly nail their characters, but I’m excitedly awaiting szn 3 regardless.
THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD–Netflix: On my last day in Park City this past January, I had a late flight out of Salt Lake, and my work at Sundance had concluded with the festival two days before, so I was just chilling all day and needed something to watch. I was instantly hooked. The episodes are short, so it was super easy to binge in one day. The shots are all really great and apparently it’s based off of a comic, so that’s kind of different.
JA’MIE–HBO:Chris Lilley is iconic as Ja’mie: Private School Girl. She is horrible yet the most ideal. Constant laughs, I’m srs. One of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. Worth a binge, a rebinge, and even a re-rebinge.
HIGH MAINTENANCE– HBO: easily one of the best shows that I didn’t really expect much from when I first sat down to watch it. Every episode is strangely poignant and they capture the essence of smoking weed in a way that i’ve never seen before. Truly a work of art.
THE SANTA CLARITA DIET–Netflix: The first episode had me slightly skeptical, but once I got used to Drew Barrymore’s method of acting and the sometimes less-than-stellar writing and suddenly i was entranced by this show. Very entertaining and a super easy binge. Plus I have serious Drew Barrymore hair goals now. AND it just gets better with age, people! Season 2 is amazing, I’ve watched it three times now.
BIG MOUTH–Netflix: Holy shit. I’m not going to say much about this one because I want you to be able to experience it in all of its glory, so go ahead and binge it NOW. It’s a hormone charged roller coaster ride and it is very….horny.
GRACE & FRANKIE–Netflix: One of the absolute best shows of the decade, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomilson form a hilarious duo to navigate post-divorced life. If you haven’t seen it, idk what you’re doing with your life.
SHAMELESS–Showtime / Netflix: It took me a second to get passed the disgusting manner in which they live and then I was hooked. Each character is so well constructed, developed, and portrayed. Plus, I saw Deb at the Melrose Trading Post one time…she taught me that glycerin makes you cry.
NURSE JACKIE–Showtime / Netflix: Absolutely one of my most favorite shows of all time. It’s the perfect amount of heart warming and soul crushing, and that’s not an easy feat. Edie Falco is incredible as Nurse Jackie, a high functioning drug addict and the best nurse around. At least, the one I’d want by my hospital bed (after she’s snorted a couple lines, of course). The show is set up around one particular St. Augustine quote I may or may not be living: “Make me good, God; but not yet.” Seriously, if you’ve never watched it–go, right now. It’s a ride but omg it’s worth it.
CUCKOO-–Netflix: Hilarious. Andy Samberg tees up the witty British comedy and Taylor Lautner…shit i’m not up on my golf references–what do you say after tees up? not ‘knock it out of the park’ bc that’s baseball, right? Fuqq it. Anyway–every character is really funny and it’s a fun show to binge for a light-hearted night.
WHITE FAMOUS–Showtime: I just finished binging this like last week actually, and i really enjoyed it. Funny as fuqq, it’s a satire about being black in Hollywood and really all I can say is–white people are annoying and i’m sorry haha
AMERICAN VANDAL—Netflix: I absolutely love the way this show is shot to be such a serious crime show but really it’s about a bunch of dicks spray painted on cars in the parking lot of a high school. The great part about it is that it stays pretty light-hearted the entire time, just a fun entertaining show. We need more of these.
THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL–Amazon: So the creators of ‘Gilmore Girls’ are back with this quick-witted and explicit (a dream come true; the faster-than-lightening high brow, quick-witted dialogue unconfined by the rules of cable) dramedy about a female comic busting through the rigid seams of the life of Upper West Side housewives.
EKATERINA: THE RISE OF CATHERINE THE GREAT–Amazon: If you’re brave enough, this Russian drama follows the rise of the badass empress–and does so in three languages, so get ready for some serious subtitle reading and….really it’s an opportunity to sharpen your prowess for context clues.
GLOW-–Netflix: I dug the vintage neon girl power vibe of this Netflix original. Season 2 promises to be just as fun (I’ve only watched the first episode, but I’m down!) The eighties aesthetics are almost as entertaining as the dialogue or anything else really (if not more).
THE JOEL McHALE SHOW WITH JOEL McHALE —Netflix: People, The Soup is back and this time without bleeping!! I’ve always enjoyed McHale’s humor, even if it’s kind of…only slightly amusing? The show has a very similar feel to his old E! gig, so it kind of feels like I’m back in my parents house catching reruns on my like 18-inch TV before going to sleep. (plus, I know one of the Associate Producers through my dope a$$ roommates so that’s always exciting–s/o Allison Miller!)
EMPIRE OF THE TSARS: ROMANOV RUSSA WITH LUCY WOLSEY–Netflix: the lady reminded me of Kitty from That 70’s Show but with an annoying British accent and incredibly ridiculous interjections in the dialogue. Her guidance through the dark and twisty yet posh and glorious Romanov dynasty is rather enjoyable.
SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH—HBO: Ja’mie’s precursor, the hilarious as fuqq Summer Heights High. The ever talented Chris Lilley plays three over the top but somehow spot on characters and will literally have you lolling every 30 seconds.
EPISODES–Netlfix: Love it, it’s a funny example of a writer’s vision being twisted and turned for American audiences. And like holy shit does it seem like Matt LeBlanc is literally all over Netflix rn?
QUEER AS FOLK-–Netflix / Showtime: Brian Kinney is the role model of all role models. Gay friends fuqq up Pittsburg night life and survive the trials of being openly gay in the early 2000’s. It’s a good series to get in to, kind of slow at times but an overall solid watch.
CRASHING–Netflix: Six twenty-somethings act as property guardians to this old hospital. Property guarding sounds kind dope as shit, to be honest…you just pay like way less than normal rent and you just have to keep an abandoned building in shape. All kinds of shenanigans are gotten into so it’s an easily enjoyable, quickly bingable show, good for a day at home or some shit.
ENLIGHTENED–HBO: I stumbled upon this show years ago and it’s been one of my favorite binges so far. It’s a complicated series, but Laura Dern depicts self destruction-ist Amy Jellicoe in a post-self destruction world, and she does it so well. The journey of rebuilding her life kind of seems like she’s walking the wrong way on a moving sidewalk, but that’s why she’s so easy to identify with. Plus, she doesn’t let the bullshit get her down and works to take down the corporate giant she helped expand. I’ll be honest…season 2 didn’t captivate me like season 1…but I’ll let you be the judge as to why.
BIG LITTLE LIES–HBO: seriously, you’ve been living under a rock if you haven’t at least watched a clip of this iconic mini-series. I’m anxiously awaiting season two and I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THE FACT THAT MERYL IS JOINING THE CAST. Also, a slight side note, but when I first started the show, i lowkey thought that Shailene Woodley’s character was actually just a grown up Amy or whatever her name was in ‘Secret Life of the American Teenager’ and she had just gone through some shit so they had to move and change their names. SPOILER–that’s definitely not the case.
SIX FEET UNDER--HBO:One of my most recent watches, this series is rather heartbreaking. It takes place in early 2000s Los Angeles and centers around a family of funeral directors. Each episode begins with a new client’s death. Most of the time these expirations are so ridiculously arbitrary it makes you kind of feel lucky you’ve survived this long. Anyway, the writing is brilliant. The characters are amazing because they are all so fucking lost and don’t realize it an aspect of their world implodes–how very true to life. Also, the last 10 minutes of the series finale ended it all so well but had me in a fit of tears and a somber attitude for like 3 hours, so be warned.
LOOKING–HBO: Sort of like HBO’s version Queer As Folk but west coast, and fast forward a few years. An interesting and comedically dramatic look at life for the not-so-young but not-really-old-at-all gays. There’s a movie and a short series and both are streamable now.
ARCHER–FXNow/Netflix: absolutely one of the best animated shows out there…actually probably THE best animated show out there. It’s absolutely hilarious. Archer is the type of all talent, no responsibility awesome asshole i aspire to be a little bit, you know? The characters are all very well-developed actually and have incredibly interesting and ridiculously strange backstories that make each just as funny and important as the other.
SILICON VALLEY–HBO: I was late to the party for the Valley, but I showed up with gusto and finished the available episodes rather quickly. It’s a fun show in general but it’s a super interesting look into the world of the techno-giants. No matter how dramatized it is, you know those companies and figures are based loosely off of real world oligarchs of tech.
THE NINETIES–CNNGo: First of all, i like all of their decade series, but this is by far my most favorite. It’s so interesting to see what was going on in the world when I was young and had like no real concept of anything.
ROME–HBO: This exciting and dramatic look into the lives of Rome’s most scandalous patricians will leave you chanting “Atia of the Julii, I call for justice!” over and over again…but not because you really have anything against Atia, but because Brutus’s mother (who’s insufferable, by the way) repeats it loudly for days.
SCHITT’S CREEK–Netflix: A rich family loses everything but the town they bought as a joke and are forced to live there until they can figure out their next move. I’m down with it although I will say that i wasn’t extremely convinced by the characters until like midway through the first season. But i definitely enjoyed it overall so that’s cool.
CASUAL–Hulu: I enjoyed this show because it was a total ‘have everything and you’re still not happy’ kind of story but it was like…somehow more honest and somehow not trite… like it’s a refreshing spin on the age-old archetype and i’m always down for that kind of shit. Plus it has like an actually good
THE COMEBACK–HBO: To be honest, you kind of have to hold on and power through with this one until you’re hooked. It’ll happen but it may take a minute. For me, the hardest part is seeing Lisa Kudrow as anyone but Phoebe, but when you lose that, draw some parallels between the characters and accept she’s a different version of herself now, the show becomes pretty entertaining. So, if you’re up for a challenge–The Comeback is your binge situation.
LOVESICK–Netflix: Everyone’s most awkward nightmare comes true when you contract an STD and call everyone you’ve slept with in the last little while to tell them about your…condition. this British comedy follows three friends as they alert nearly every girl in Dylan’s black book of his syphilis. An entertaining watch, for sure.
COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE–Netflix: One of the sexiest sounds in the world is the sound of coffee being poured. And this show has plenty of coffee pouring b-roll. It’s super interesting to watch these comedians interact and discuss life, their career, and the cars (which break down more often than not)
WE CAN BE HEROES–HBO: You seriously can’t go wrong when Chris Lilley is involved okay. In this brilliant short series, he brings back Ja’mie and introduces us to 5 additional, equally hilarious characters vying for the coveted title, Australian of the Year.
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA–Hulu: Hilarious and like just low brow enough for me to enjoy without absolutely hating every minute of it. I’m still in the beginning of the series but every episode delivers. They’ve perfected the art of characters screaming over each other and no matter who you listen to, its funny as fuqq. It’s also super satirical of everything and they just go in hard about everything. So basically if your sense of humor is handicapped by political correctness, this one (and honestly many others on this list) are not for you.
SHARP OBJECTS–HBO: Currently airing, this show is actually pretty badass. I am not one for crime shows, but this follows Amy Adams as a troubled vodka-chugging, cigarette smoking journalist back to her rural Missouri hometown as she investigates what’s probably turning out to be a serial situation. I’m digging it so far and I’ve only tuned in for one episode so that’s a good sign, ppl.
ILL BEHAVIOR–Showtime: So the guy standing gets a divorce from his wealthy wife and is left with a sizeable sum of money. The guy in the chair gets cancer and refuses treatment. Standing guy isn’t about to let that happen, so he finds Lizzy Caplan is the kind of chemo doctor i’d want pumping poison into my veins.
VICE PRINCIPALS–HBO: I loved it but all of a sudden it takes a rather unexpected turn and becomes something very different. It’s worth the binge, though.
THE YOUNG POPE-–HBO: I’m just here for the aesthetics and the sacrilege. The show is kind of so-so, but the concept is iconic and daring. It’s kind of like what I think would happen if I was elected pope, but way less pizzazz.
Z: THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING–Amazon: F. Scott Fitzgerald is sort of like my literary spirit animal, so it’s cool to see this side of him and learn more about his beloved, the first American ‘flapper’, Zelda. She’s a v interesting character in her own right. tbh, i found the show a lil slow at times but it’s soooo much better than Amazon’s stab at “The Last Tycoon”, so, you know…
AMERICAN DYNASTIES: THE KENNEDYS–CNN: As an American catholic, the Kennedys are basically our secular royalty, and their dark side is delicious. Narrated by journalists and some of the Kennedys themselves, it’s an extremely interesting watch. CNN’s miniseries are notoriously well done, and this doesn’t disappoint in the slightest.
THE RADICAL STORY OF PATTY HEARST–CNN: A totally captivating story–pun fully intended. Patty is a v v interesting character and everything about this is just so bizarre. A very intriguing watch.
TRUST: THE GETTY FAMILY SAGA–FXNOW:Continuing with the theme of kidnapping a plutocrat’s grandchild, ‘Trust’ follows the notorious Getty family as John Paul Getty III is kidnapped in Italy. But was he really kidnapped? did it start as a joke and end as a life altering, oh shit what have i done situation? is it kind of like the ‘Fargo’ of real life? Tune in, bitches.
CLAWS–TNT: I just started watching this show, which is exciting because season 2 is currently airing on TNT. You can really only catch some of the episodes on the app, but i recommend taking a gander at this girl-power packed money laundering meets acrylic nail wonderland.
WEEDS–Netflix / Showtime
PARKS AND RECREATION–Netflix
THAT 70S SHOW–Netflix
I know this list helped solve your streaming anxiety so…you’re welcome.
And of course, don’t forget to tune in to the 70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, Monday, September 17!
Also, **disclaimer** i own ~none~ of these images, and i’m secure enough to admit that.
I’m obsessed with a good alligator pear & I’m constantly looking for new ways dress them up a bit to keep my eating habits more ~exotic~ and ~diverse~ and overall ~healthier~ than before. So I’ve compiled a few of my favorite ways to consume an avocado–and they are sure to become your favorite as well!
ok without further ado, my 8 (+) ways to eat avocados:
And so there you have it! A lil more than 8 suggestions on how to eat the most famous superfood of our generation every day without getting bored of it!!
and of course, don’t forget the perfect soundtrack to your avocado consuming experience:::::: “The Avocado Song”!
find it here::
watch it here::
Enjoy those ‘vocadooos, people!
seriously book her todae!!
i mean you won’t look nearly as good as i do, but the photo itself will still be v v v high quality.
Follow this to her instagram!